"I need a tux." My son matter-of-factly said into his cell phone. "Me and the guys are going to San Francisco tonight." (TONIGHT?!?)
"Sure," I gulped, "no problem," hoping Case could fit into his father's tuxedo as I hit the gas and raced up the hill in a near panic (clearly, my son was clueless with respect to the concept of tuxedos and timing!). As luck would have it, my husband had purchased a formal tuxedo from Nordstroms a few years back and while our elder son is slightly taller (and slightly slimmer) than his dad, I thought he might just get away with it. If only I could remember where the studs, cumberbund and cufflinks were located, before packing away the bulk of our closet contents prior to the remodel. When was the last time I had actually seen those items and where? But first, I needed to be picked up off the floor . . . Is this the same kid who skipped his senior prom, wore basketball shorts under his graduation gown and hadn't yet mastered the effortless flair of Khakis and a sports coat? The same kid who struggled to tie his shoe laces, who never combed his hair, and to whom the idea of tucking in one's shirt was a totally objectionable concept - even when visiting his grandmother's house? (Yes, it was.) Were we really jumping from one extreme to the other with little to NO notice? (Apparently, we were.) Forty-five minutes later, a trip to Selix downtown (I didn't find the studs) and shaved, showered and dressed to the nines, I have to say Case looked downright handsome and more than just a little bit grown up. He'd even succumbed to my insistence that formal attire also requires one to wear stiff patent leather shoes and black (not gym) socks. And with the help of YouTube, we even had mild success tying the bow tie after only a few clunky attempts. Standing before me, tall, elegant and just slightly awkward, I had a glimpse of the man my son is bound to become. "Is this really what everyone else will be wearing?" the man-child suspiciously inquired, surprised by his own stately appearance in the mirror. "Yes, it is," I replied proudly, "You look absolutely great" (and he did). "Quick, get the camera," I instructed my husband, fearing we might never see him dressed formally again. "No way! You're not taking my picture." Ah ha! There's the boy I know and love.Good staging is like wearing a tuxedo to a fancy winter ball. One simply can't arrive at the St Francis Hotel dressed in blue jeans and a Wildcats T-shirt when the rest of the participants are in formal gowns and dinner jackets. In the world of real estate, an unstaged home is the the equivalent of underdressing. Compared to staged properties nearby, your home is bound to look like yesterday's news - no matter how tidy you keep it. Regardless of your fabulous possessions, your antique collections and the level of your taste, it is the rare home that doesn't benefit from a trained eye, SIGNIFICANT editing and a designer's touch. Here in the Bay Area, it's almost standard practice to stage a property - prior to selling it. Typically, you will also need to paint, prune, and purge your way to Pleasantville. You may need to replace old appliances, address the long overdue "To Do" list, blow leaves from the roof, wash the windows, clean out the closets, and spit shine your home from top to bottom. Curtains come down, photos get stowed and all traces of personal style are shelved. Prospective buyers need to envision their own family in the home - not yours. With mixed emotions, sellers often discover that their home has never looked better than when they go to sell it. Buck up, you're not alone - everyone's does! Without a trace of mail in sight, a used cereal bowl in the sink, or an open kitchen cupboard, the house is very nearly picture perfect - as it should be when selling. Selling a home almost always has a fair amount of theater involved in the process and smart sellers sign up for "the show." Your home should look its best when it comes to market - absent the items that make it quintessentially you. (Think Restoration Hardware catalogue and you will be on the same page as every trained Buyer shopping in today's market.) With one opportunity to make a first impression and with 93% of prospective buyers now beginning their search on the Internet, photos have never been more important - so get it right. Unlike my son's refusal to take a photo, there will be plenty of pictures for posterity.
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There are moments, I will admit, when even I am more than willing to throw in the towel on homeownership. (Yes, even me!) Last weekend, was one of those rare lapses. Seizing upon a few hours of free time I decided to trim the camellia bushes that had grown above the roof line of our home. I retrieved the extension ladder from the storage shed and promptly set to work. With heavy garden shears and loppers in hand, I navigated the steep ladder and began to work from the underside of the shrub, which quickly proved to be both frustrating and inefficient.
"Wouldn't this be easier from above?" I thought to myself, climbing the last few rungs of the ladder and pulling my tools up and on to the shake shingles - never mind the rubber gardening clogs; they would have to suffice. Of course, once there, I discovered that the roof was heavily littered with oak branches, pine needles, acorns and a few errant tennis balls the boys had misfired while playing catch with our Labrador retriever, Buck. Moreover the rain gutters were completed impacted with debris. This just wouldn't do. (We've already had our first light rain of the season so there was no time to lose.) This is the point at which any sane person (or right thinking middle age woman) aborts the mission and calls in someone much younger (and more spry) to complete this daunting task - for instance, my teenage son who claims he wants to earn some "extra money." But NO . . . the aforementioned teen was nowhere to be found and clearly, I was looking for immediate results! Grabbing the electric blower, I attached my longest extension cord to the plug and then spent the next hour and a half bent over those damn gutters, clearing out the gunk, while thinking some very unkind thoughts about my husband who had quietly sneaked off to watch the U.S. Tennis Open -names that can't be repeated here. (Cliff is either smart enough or oblivious enough to avoid my "most productive" moments and he often responds by making himself scarce.) Here's the thing I discovered last Saturday afternoon (and I'm sharing it with you - free of charge) climbing UP a ladder is A LOT easier than climbing down! With evening falling, a huge amount of dirt and debris littering the patio bricks below, and no one at the bottom to hold the ladder in place, I was having a very difficult time figuring out just how to step backwards onto this deathtrap without slipping (I now regretted those clogs); visions of a broken leg, or worse yet, a broken neck, swirled prominently through my brain. "Cliff!" I yelled. "Cliff! I need help!" "CLIFF, I'M STRANDED!!" (My volume was increasing exponentially.) Cl-i-if!!!" (Now he was in BIG trouble; his name had gone from one syllable to three . . .) I was literally stomping on the roof, unsuccessfully trying to get his attention. The whole neighborhood had surely heard my desperate pleas - except my errant husband (par for the course). Silence. Dead air. NO RESPONSE! (Here is where I began cursing under my breath, reconsidering the joys of homeownership - and to be quite frank - the joys of marriage.) I had two choices: I could either stay up on that darn roof until my son discovered me long about dinner time OR make a decision to descend (this wasn't Mount Everest after all - just my roof). Nothing to do but take a breath, turn around and back down. And to my great relief, the ladder didn't move, didn't slide and didn't budge, and my unfounded fears of broken bones didn't materialize either. (And happily, Cliff arrived with barbecue in hand so while he doesn't sweep, he does cook!) How's this all relate to real estate? Well, here's what I think. Many of you have tough decisions to make and the outcome is very often unknown. Whatever you are facing, whatever fears you are projecting, in all likelihood, the reality is something altogether very different. Sometimes, our fears are nothing more than our disjointed perceptions; they have little to do with what is really going on, or to be more accurate, what we think is going on. Take a breath and proceed . . . The media excels at reporting stories full of doom and gloom and negative headlines almost always result in temporarily dampening any momentum the market has gained. But look behind most of these stories, put them into context, and you will find little real change in today's market vs. last year's. In fact, our activity is fairly typical for this time of year - and so is our market. Yes, you should proceed with care and diligence, but you should also keep the market in perspective. Certainly, before taking any risks (like stranding yourself on a roof) make sure to gather relevant and material information from sources you trust, create a plan that makes sense and meets your needs, listen to your inner voice, weigh the pros and cons carefully, and then put your ladder in place with facts - instead of assumptions or hearsay - and you will very likely, avoid unintended "risks" from the start. Whether the journey is up or down, a thought-out and well-executed plan of action is likely to hold you in good stead and keep you safe! My husband, Cliff, delights in poking fun at me at every opportunity and he's certainly earned the right. Ever since The Perspective came along, I have been using my own unedited forum to even the score. (Luckily, we both have thick skins.)
Cliff's usually writing much more intellectual Supreme Court Briefs (which for the record, ain't so brief!) so imagine my surprise and delight when I received the following email from him last week. (I'm still stunned that he found time to pen this Sci-fi "lead-in," but has yet to find the time to fold the laundry! Hmmm . . . there I go again.) Juls: I have noted, as have your Readers, the pattern to your Perspective: generally speaking, an observation about life (yours, mine or the kids) followed by a transition into how the observation relates to Real Estate and so I have the beginning of your next Perspective, here you go: As the Killian Star Cruisers closed in upon them, the Captain thought about how much simpler it had been when all they had to contend with were the Drivellian slave traders of Rigellan IV. Sure the Drivellians were tough fighters, but they didn't have a lethal death ray; much less one that could immobilize an entire lunar colony! Still, the Earthlings were not without their defenses. After all the new Comark Shield System (CSS) had worked perfectly in all its tests. This would be the big one though - women and children, ready for transport to the outer colonies - were depending on it. If the shield could turn the death ray into a harmless light particle beam, they would all be safe, and not only would the Killians be rendered harmless for years to come, but the energy derived from the particle beam could actually power the colony! Of course, energy efficiency is something which is not just the province of Star Defenders, but important to the purchase of a home as well. (FILL IN REAL ESTATE SECTION). Okay Cliff, here I go . . . "Energy efficiency" has been front and foremost in the news and in home design for the past several years. It's caught on in a BIG way in our liberal, collective, California psyches - and so it should. In fact, it's the rare Buyer who isn't adding up the costs of new windows and insulated attics as they consider older homes these days and wondering if there is a discount to be had??? Uh, there isn't. (Mind you, the single-pane glass in Notre Dame has been virtually intact for almost 900 years and its windows haven't clouded up as our energy efficient, modern, double-pane windows tend to do within a mere 15-20 years!) Dual-pane windows, attic insulation, recirculating water systems, wrapped heating ducts, etc, etc, etc; they're all important in terms of maintaining a home's efficiency and in keeping utility costs in check. AND they're good for the environment to boot - so why not just install them, especially if you'll be undertaking a remodel anyway? A) Because these upgrades still tend to be more expensive than their older less costly counter parts. A tankless water heater will run you considerably more than the old-fashioned 50-gallon water heater currently sitting in your basement. It can takes serious "green" to live "green" (the $160,000 price tag for the electric Tesla is no joke!) or to quote Kermit the Frog, "It's not so easy being green." B) The buying public isn't yet willing to pay you more for your "smart" home - no matter how smart it is! Sure, they love the idea that the property can practically run itself, and the fact that they can positively impact their "carbon footprint" for the good of mankind certainly provides bonus points, but neither of these factors typically sway value-oriented buyers when it comes to writing the BIG check (Buyer's are still looking for the deal)! If you have installed solar panels on your roof, good for you, but don't expect to be reimbursed for this upgrade when you go to sell your home. It just isn't part of the calculation - yet! (Sexy kitchen and bathroom remodels typically reap big dividends; less exciting solar panels do not. which makes "green upgrades" less smart from a seller's point of view - not from an environmentalist's!) C) The good of the colony tends to take a back seat to the needs of the individual. (Unless you're my "zero-carbon footprint" sainted sister Karen who grows her own vegetables, shops at a co-op grocery, raises egg-laying ducks, knits her own sweaters, drives a corn-oil car, hunts for mushrooms in the woods and produces more solar power than her household consumes . . . , you are probably negatively impacting the environment - even with your best efforts.) The cold hard truth is that there are still far fewer choices in "green" options than in the rest of the color spectrum. Individual expression tends to be significantly curtailed when limited to those few choices that are more "environmentally friendly" (and let's face it, raising ducks isn't that easy within the city limits). Quack! Still, cookie-cutter choices or not (have I mentioned the Prius yet?) I'm not ready to concede that the good fight is over and I'll be the first to cheer you on for following your conscience - not your checkbook in undertaking improvements more beneficial to all. If nothing else, living "green" is highly admirable. And the good news is that energy efficiency is still in its infancy so we have much to look forward to in terms of accessibility, affordability and style. Here's the 411, when "green options" become as economically feasible as the much cheaper red, white and blue choices with which we are already familiar and more accustomed to (in other words, when the Tesla costs the same as the Prius) I believe the Killians will give up their supreme fight for power and live peacefully alongside the rest of us mere mortals. And that's NOT just Science Fiction . . . (How'd I do Cliff?) BTW - If anyone else would like to submit a "lead-in," be my guest. I really enjoyed the challenge. I'll treat any takers (authors) to lattes and scones at Mulberry's - whether or not I use your story (literary privilege). I have been contemplating cutting bangs once again. I do this every few years when the lines on my forehead seem more pronounced than usual (which probably coincides with me turning fifty). Bangs are cheaper than Botox, I figure, and they'll cover the imperfections almost as well. Without giving away any classified secrets, aging gracefully involves a little smoke and mirrors . . .
Still, aging (and vanity) aside, it's the constant upkeep that I am beginning to resent just a wee bit. (Of course, "growing older" beats the alternative). I'll be the first to admit that I don't like the physical aspects of aging; however, I'm not quite ready enough, motivated enough, or brave enough (depending on how you look at it) to take more permanent "corrective measures" which I'm quite certain would involve eliminating ice cream, heavy exercise and a certified plastic surgeon! That's usually when I pick up the scissors and cut away . . . Just like the human body, houses tend to show their age - unless they are well maintained. Home ownership (like aging) ain't for sissies. No matter how many inspections we perform prior to the sale, I can guarantee you with almost 100% certainty that you are going to move into the home of your dreams and quickly discover something that isn't working properly, something that wasn't disclosed fully or something that needs immediate attention. Yikes! For me, it was a massive 100-year old redwood that was quite literally pushing the guest house off its foundation. I guess the notched roof and the gap in the patio, should have been my first clues, but I wasn't paying close enough attention at the time (I was spellbound by the garden and the gazebo - go figure!). "You can keep the tree or the structure," my contractor politely informed me, "but not both." Five thousand dollars and a GIGANTIC pile of redwood mulch later, the problem was solved. It's been the first of many and I am still looking at a major remodel this year. But on balance, pine needles and fresh cut wood are the kinds of problems to have. They're truly "gold- plated." Let me put it bluntly: roofs leak, drains clog, refrigerators go on the fritz and so it goes; the list is truly endless . . . So why own?" Aside from the obvious financial tax advantages (Uncle Sam clearly rewards those who participate in "The American Dream") there are the more compelling emotional aspects of owning to contemplate . . . One dynamic couple I worked with were renters by nature, but had also been forced to move four times in the last ten years. Each time they settled in, their current landlord would call to say that they were either selling the house or retaking possession. (That's more than just inconvenient; it's downright unsettling.) Happily, they were in a position to finally buy when we met. For these fortunate buyers, home ownership is a chance to truly establish roots and provide security for their family. While they won't have the luxury of calling their landlord each time the pipes squeak or the garbage disposal backs up, they'll make decisions about the house that best suits their needs. They will choose paint colors they like, expand a bathroom as needed, and entertain to their hearts content with complete abandon (and this is a family that knows how to have a good time! ) All the while, knowing that never again will someone be demanding their home back and uprooting the kids. And while home appreciation may have taken a hit in the last few years, I would still rather place my money in four walls and a roof than in the temperamental ups and downs of the stock market. (What exactly is a "derivative" anyway? Talk about smoke and mirrors!!!) Sure, I may not like it when cracks show up in the driveway or my trees need trimming, but I take pride in the fact that I have earned every squeaky floor board, every peeling shutter and every chipped tile in the place. (Lest you think new homes fare any better - they don't. They too, require ongoing maintenance as well; ALL homes do!) Old home? New home? (Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Thief?) It comes with the territory and ultimately, a home is a work in progress (as are we all!). Enjoy your hard-earned abode; live, in it, entertain in it, and come home to it with the clear understanding that it isn't going to be perfect. (Nothing is). Count yourself lucky. For most of the world's population, home ownership is rarely a reality; in fact, it isn't even a dream for the majority of people. WE lucky few, get to realize ours. So get familiar with a screwdriver and an electric drill. You'll most likely need them. And if home repair isn't your thing, let me introduce you to a good, reliable handyman I know and use frequently! (He's on speed dial.) Gotta run, I've got a sprinkler head to replace. As for bangs, I'm still on the fence. Accompanying my younger son, Tristan, to his orthodontist appointment last week, I couldn't help but wonder if the doctor was looking at a Maui mouth (one where the savings on orthodontia affords a trip to Hawaii) or a Modesto mouth (that's a weekend at the Motel 6 and Water World in Manteca for the uninitiated). Laughing, Dr. Righellis replied, "Your son is somewhere in between. How do you feel about Disneyland?"
My older son wore braces, as did ALL six kids in my immediate family so of course I expected Tristan to follow suit. It was inevitable. Wasn't it? Well yes and no. Due to a proactive regiment by the good doctor, Tristan's permanent teeth have come in without crowding the others, eliminating a much more invasive, expensive and time consuming process today. Tristan will still need braces, but will wear them only briefly. Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me! Home ownership works much the same way. Any maintenance you do up front has the potential to save thousands of dollars down the road. Several years ago, I represented a sharp couple, contemplating a move to Piedmont (let's call them Mr. and Mrs. P) Like many parents weighing private versus public school education, Piedmont offered a high-ranking public educational option and kindergarten beckoned. Meeting with my clients for a tour of their home at that time, it presented as a fairly typical, mid-century modern with minor cosmetic updating. However, behind the facade, Mrs. P had taken meticulous care of both the home and its grounds. The foundation had been earthquake retrofitted, the roof replaced, the windows upgraded, a new fence built, French drains installed and the pest report was zero. ZERO! (To date, Mrs. P. is the only client I've ever known to have a pest inspection performed on an annual basis the way others have a yearly physical!) While it may not be sexy (or immediately gratifying) to spend dollars correcting dry rot or leaky toilets, this type of ongoing maintenance is liable to save much greater costs down the road. With the major elements in great shape, their home only required minor painting and staging to present as a sophisticated modern that was virtually worry free (WORRY FREE!) which made for a very attractive home purchase. Buyers responded in kind and Mr. and Mrs. P received multiple offers and quickly sold their home well above asking. True to form, Mr.and Mrs. P are repeating their pattern at their current Piedmont home and over the last two years have already replaced the roof, installed French drains, added a sump pump, upgraded the exposed pipes and improved much of the electrical system as well. Chances are they will avoid much costlier expenses in the future. With the biggest expenses substantially offset and no costly surprises on the horizon, Mr. and Mr. P can now afford that tropical vacation in Maui. Aloha! (Please drink a Mai Tai for me - I'll be hanging out at the Pirates of the Caribbean.) (BTW - I have an excellent Home Service Provider's List of contractors, inspectors, gardeners, handymen, window washers, painters, etc. Please call me if you'd like a copy of this terrific list of vendors.) |
AuthorJulie Gardner, has been writing The Perspective for 18 years and has published more than 750 humorous but always informative, essays on life and real estate. Categories
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