Heading Things off at the Pass

​"You need to CONTROL the Buyers," the caller emphatically stated, while simultaneously chewing me out.

"Uhh, pardon me?"

Aside from the fact that Sarah and I represented the Sellers - not the Buyers - OR that it would be a gross violation of our licenses to bypass the Buyers' Agent to speak directly with her clients, OR that these instructions came from a previously unknown third party, OR that our side was responsible for the delay, OR that "control" is a nebulous construct at best, the time for setting reasonable expectations ("reasonable" being the operative word) is during negotiations, or better yet, BEFORE the relevant parties enter into contract. This is typically accomplished through instructions posted in either the MLS or the Disclosure Package (or both), OR with detailed counter-offers, OR through good old-fashioned one-on-one phone conversations. (Remember those?)

Irrespective of where the blame lies, it's always going to be MUCH tougher to "control" a situation (any situation) after the fact, as opposed to heading things off at the pass. Let me preface this cautionary tale by explaining that a ratified contract demonstrates a meeting of the minds. Once affirmed, contracts establish price, terms, and conditions that both sides have agreed upon, AND (like marriage), they shouldn't be entered into lightly.

With the understanding that real estate transactions are complicated, multi-layered affairs that often have a ton of moving parts, EVERYONE is better served entering into these agreements with a modicum of flexibility and a fair amount of good will . . . When people transact from a place of win/lose instead of win/win, they may, in fact, win the battle only to lose the war. In other words, avoid the desire to be unreasonable, even if you are perfectly entitled to your indignation or frustration. In our experience, kindness, civility and generosity will take you much further . . . or as my mother used to say, "You catch more flies with honey . . . " (Why you'd want more flies is another question for another day.)

But putting aside decency (and flies), it's important to note that once the transaction has closed, you may still want (or need) vital information from the other party. It only stands to reason that you are much more likely to achieve cooperation if you've played "nice" along the way. Being unreasonable and silent is likely to be your deserved response. "(What goes around, comes around.")

Remember, once escrow closes, no one owes you further communication, nor are you entitled to it. When the deal is done, it's done.

However, it's important to understand that even if the other side willingly cooperates, there may be financial consequences in asking for extensions or changes to the original agreement. (Lenders often charge a pretty penny for loan extensions.) Conversely, if the delay comes from the Buyers, the Sellers will accrue additional expenses in the form of additional mortgage payments, utilities, maintenance, and pro-rated property taxes.

In both cases, it wouldn't be out of line to ask the non-offending party to absorb these unexpected costs. And while such requests are both reasonable and fair, people tend to be far more negotiable and giving when explanations are timely and transparently communicated. In many cases, the delays aren't a result of negligence; they're just hitches that may require a little more time to work through. If the goal is to stay in contract and CLOSE escrow, I encourage you to let cooler heads prevail and work towards an equitable solution. In the grand scheme of things, a few days and a few bucks will be quickly forgotten, but an aborted escrow will taint the house and likely cost the Seller significant time and money!

Finally, the more forthcoming you are when faced with the unexpected, the better. While it's impossible to control every unknown variable, unwelcome blindsided surprises are problematic or worse yet, ignored. When your Realtor® knows the herd they're rounding up, when we're privy to ALL the circumstances at play, when we're clear about the intended target, we're much better at advocating on your behalf. In other words, if things go sideways, your first call should be to your Agent (not your mother).

With hundreds of sales under our belt, we've probably walked (saddled, ridden, biked, skated) this road before, and if we haven't, we'll be there to help you through whatever raging river we need to navigate - together. In cowboy speak: "Git along, little Dogie."

How can we help you?