"Hello Discomfort!"

 My son, Tristan, has returned from his freshman year at Colgate University in Hamilton NY.  Admittedly, I hadn't wanted my youngest to select a college 3000 miles away, but he wasn't (at all) interested in my thoughts on the subject. In fact, there was probably some covert eye rolling accompanying his requests for me to please let him decide. (Isn't butting-in a mother's prerogative?)

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​So when Tris returned at Thanksgiving, a little homesick and badly missing his Piedmont friends, he wondered aloud why he hadn't applied to any California schools. (I wondered too.)

Now that he's had the full year to adjust, he's clearly found his way. Next semester's housing is set, he's rooming with new pals, he's clear on the professors' expectations, and he's far more comfortable at every level than he was just one short year ago (BIG sigh of relief).  PLUS, he's lined up his first real internship for the summer in San Francisco. So irrespective of my worrying, he's well on his way - with little input from me. 

Having watched our elder son's same progression with his own out-of-state university choice a few years prior, AND mirrored by every other child I know who either went off to school, or took another less traditional route, I'm clear that a fair amount of discomfort just seems to be the natural process for us all - no matter what the circumstances, or on which side of the equation you happen to lie.

The reality is that "the next phase of life" is a journey that's hard to be truly prepared for, no matter how many stories we've heard, or what we think we know, or even how much we may look forward to it. Moreover, the expectations, specifically around college ("these are the happiest years of your young life . . .") can be really misleading as our birds learn to leave the nest and fly out on their own (well, not entirely on their own - we're still paying for their tuition, plane tickets home, and cell phones!) 

(Here's where I make the connection . . .)

No matter how much, or how emphatically I lay out the journey for Sellers (and I'm prone to rhetoric as you've probably figured out by now), until you actually have your home on the market, no amount of "preparation" prepares you for the anxiety that invariably follows. In other words, "hello discomfort."

To begin with, Realtors are often asking you to move out (lock, stock and barrel), to paint out the kitchen cabinets your purposely left unpainted, to change out the lighting fixtures you love, to remove your blinds and curtains ("But we spent thousands of dollars on them!"), to hand over your keys, to TRUST us implicitly, and to let a team of strangers come in and "stage" your comfortable home in a way that's entirely foreign and bears no relationship to how your family actually lived in the house. ("Our bed was up against the other wall so we could take advantage of the light. . . ") 

Oh, and did I say that none of this comes for free?

We're also simultaneously leading you through complicated contracts, lengthy disclosures and seller statements, and physical home inspections that aren't always welcome in their scope and findings.  What's more, we are asking you to bear not only your soul, but your secrets as well.

"Do I really need to admit to a leaky skylight that was taken care of years ago?"

Why yes, you do. 

Then we expose your home to the public and wait for their critical feedback, which BTW, is often - highly critical - in spite of the copious amounts of work we've undertaken to transform your home at great expense and inconvenience for the viewing public and those oh so important photos which get postedeverywhere on the Internet!

"I don't think there's enough storage space for us."
"Why aren't the bedrooms bigger?"
"I'm not sure my car can fit into this small garage."
"The bathrooms really need remodeling . . . "

 GRRRRRR. And so it goes. 

No wonder you're full of anxiety; the process is nothing if not anxiety producing; and that's true for everyone. Believe me, I'm not just saying this for your benefit, but for mine as well.  Realtors too, are frequently caught off-guard when we think a house has turned out better than we had hoped, but the Seller is none too pleased.  

Say what?   

You're not alone in feeling some major stress around this process. But while it's important for me to remember how difficultletting go can be, the last thing you need me to do as your Realtor, is to engage in such feelings.  As the goal is to bring you the highest and best result, my objectivity will serve you far better - even at the risk of making you uneasy.  

In short, the more neutral I can be, the better the outcome. Please understand that my job is to steer the ship, set the stage, and know that we are on the right path (a mix of metaphors) with the understanding that the outcome isn't necessarily up to me. 

Unfortunately, it isn't up to you either; it's up to timing, preparation and a willing and able Buyer (ultimately, the market decides the value of your property), but we can (and will) do everything within our power to considerably improve your chances, knowing there's likely to be some discomfort involved. (Hello discomfort.) That's okay, we'll get there with the hope, and the intention that the outcome will surpass our best expectations. (Just like our kids.)

That's the journey.

How can I help you?