SUPERMAN

Early Tuesday morning, I had an MRI performed on my right knee. Sadly, the test revealed a meniscus tear, not to mention disintegrating cartilage, as well as significant arthritis around the patella. It's not great news, but at least I now know what I'm dealing with, and more importantly, where I stand. Or more precisely, DON'T stand. (Aka: I'm old!)

Because most of our housing stock in the East Bay is also "old," knowing what you're dealing with is among the most important aspects of buying or selling real estate. However, as we've yet to invent the equivalent of the real estate MRI, there will always be a certain amount of the unknown when wading into the murky waters of homeownership. Consequently, finding a comfort level regarding such risks is no easy feat; you'll need to muster superhuman powers.

As an extreme example, when Cliff and I bought our Piedmont home many years ago, it came with a SIZABLE pest finding, but as we were planning on remodeling a good portion of the house, I knew we'd address those offending issues at some later point in time.

Five years later, our older son had left for college, we'd borrowed heavily for the remodel, and our trusty contractor had shown up (with approved plans in hand) to begin demolition of the downstairs.

That's when I received the phone call. . .

"Julie, you should see this," Bennie said. "It's pretty bad." (He wasn't kidding.)

At which point we discovered that the damage we thought was about $40,000 was more like $100,000. ALL of the interior walls on the lower level were so badly compromised (termite-eaten) that they looked like Swiss cheese. Honestly, how the house managed to support the upper floor is still a mystery.

In our case, the much larger finding made little difference as the renovation called for the entire downstairs to be demolished and reframed (and it was), but, for most hardworking folks, the health and condition of their house did, in fact, matter a great deal. That being said, the "underlying condition" is nearly impossible to determine, especially if the damage lurks behind finished walls, beneath the floorboards, under the wall-to-wall carpet, or behind the stucco finish.

Even with good home inspection, pest, and structural reports, there's a limit to what these Inspectors can actually see. Moreover, the method for establishing if infestation is present comes down to a decidedly UN-techie system of thrusting a screwdriver into soft wood to see what gives way, and where. Keep in mind that such explorations are often limited to the thresholds, windows, mudsills, and corners of exterior buildings. In other words, the interior walls are typically examined for cracks in the plaster or drywall, or for peeling paint, but the integrity of the framing behind the gypsum is largely unknown.

And at the risk of being entirely glib, termites don't limit the buffet line to a home's exterior walls alone. To these destructive insects, wood is wood, is wood, is wood (chomp). If there are tubes and nests beneath the house, those are usually accessible and easily treatable, but the damage the termites probably left behind may be far more invasive and certainly, more expensive to correct. However, it's not termites that do the most damage to a house; it's water, which hosts dry-rot organisms that slowly eat away at the wood framing that supports your home. (How's that for a spooky tale?)

This is my long way of saying that while many homes may have detectable issues, many also have hidden damage that's discovered only years after the fact (like when you remodel, or go to sell). While Agents do their best to encourage Sellers to disclose all material information regarding their home, their property, and their neighborhood, Sellers may be legitimately unaware of damage that isn't visibly in plain sight. (You wouldn't be the first.) And while Inspectors are certainly more adept at spotting potential issues than the rest of us laymen, they've yet to develop X-Ray vision. (Where's Clark Kent when you need him?)

So until Superman gives up crime fighting as a way of life, and opens a home inspection agency, OR unless you're a contractor, OR until someone develops an MRI designed to see through walls, chances are you're going to close escrow on your home with a basic working knowledge of the property, and that's about it. In short, homes are not static propositions; they come with their own set of problems and history. If you are comfortable with that, you're a good candidate for home ownership. If not, may I politely suggest you rent instead?

To quote Superman: here's to "truth, justice, and a better tomorrow."

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