Trusting Your Intuition

What's the dress code for the wedding?" I asked my friend (who also happens to be the mother of the groom), expecting her to say, "It's casual."

After all, the event is taking place in Guadalajara, Mexico, and I assumed it would be easy and breezy, like the last wedding we attended just a few short weeks ago much closer to home. Truth be told, I was planning on wearing the exact same dress.

"It's formal, but you can wear something mid-length if you don't have a floor-length gown," my friend assured me. (I don't have either.)

Because Cliff and I tend to avoid high-end functions whenever possible (we're much more likely to sign up for a hoedown, than anything uptown), there is NO formal wear in fancy garment bags in either of our closets. There's barely a dress in mine, let alone a gown of any sort.

But with only a few days to spare, I jumped into the car and made a last-minute visit to the mall to find a formal dress that didn't look like I was attending the senior prom or the Met Gala. Something tailored, something elegant, something understated, something less adorned, AND definitely something with sleeves would do just fine, thank you very much. No frills, no ruffles, no bows, no sparkles, and nothing that makes me look like my mother's sofa or a lace doily. (There are a surprising number of dresses that seem to do both.)

Funnily enough, the first dress I tried on - a burgundy, Calvin Klein jersey with a flattering profile - fit the bill exactly, but did I believe it?

No, I did not.

Cut to: An extremely frustrated middle-aged woman in the changing room putting on, and then pulling off dress after dress in quick succession, only to find myself back in the first frock I had originally selected. Both comfortable and sophisticated, it was by far the best of the bunch. In other words, I could have saved myself a lot of time and trouble if I had only trusted my gut instincts - or the mirror.

It occurs to me that house shopping is a lot like dress shopping; Buyers rarely ever believe the first home they walk into could actually be "the one," nor do they trust their initial impressions, but they should. Unfortunately, it often takes trying on many properties before Buyers understand what "fits" and what doesn't.

Ironically, identifying what you hate, in many instances, is more critical to the process than focusing on what you love, but both responses help us fine-tune the process. More to the point, it often takes losing a home, or two, (or three, or four . . . ) before Buyers grasp the process of how best to compete in our marketplace. Like all skills, there's a learning curve to becoming a successful Buyer (or a Buyer's Agent).

As one very confused, Southern California Agent succinctly put it, "Your market is much different up there." (Yes, it is, which is why you should refer your daughter and her husband to a LOCAL REALTOR® who knows how to craft a winning offer.)

For better or for worse, competition is the name of the game in the Bay Area, where we routinely have more demand than supply. Consequently, when you find the home you love, you'll need to sharpen your pencil and write to win. Still, most of us need to explore many options before deciding on "the one." As we've yet to sell the "perfect" home, it's often a process of elimination and compromise, and that can take time.

Take all the time you need, but the real trick is to recognize the home of your dreams and stop looking once you find it. (Words I should heed the next time I need a dress.) While easier said than done, it's also okay to fall in love at first sight and commit. Let the rest (and the dress) fall into place.

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