JULIE GARDNER
  • HOME
  • COMPASS
    • WHY COMPASS?
    • COMPASS CONCIERGE
    • COMPASS BRIDGE LOANS
  • LISTINGS
  • ABOUT
    • ABOUT JULIE
    • A DYNAMIC PARTNERSHIP
    • CONTACT
    • PROCESS
    • TESTIMONIALS
    • PRESS
  • PROJECTS
    • BEFORE & AFTER
    • GARDENS
    • OUR TEAM
    • VIDEOS
  • BLOG
  • COMMUNITY
    • UTILITIES
    • SCHOOLS

Vol. 282 - The BIG Apple

6/21/2013

0 Comments

 
I sat in the corner, a veritable wallflower nursing a diet coke, remembering why people drink the hard stuff.  I had accompanied my husband to his 40th high school reunion on Long Island (I'm obviously much younger) and not surprisingly, the group was transformed back to a time well before I was part of the landscape.  As expected, the goal of the evening was to reestablish old relationships, not to make new ones - which is why I typically stay behind and wish Cliff bon voyage whenever these special "reunion" opportunities  arise. 

I'm not complaining, mind you; Cliff and I had just enjoyed three nights in Manhattan, two musical plays, a Tenement Museum tour, matzoh ball soup at Canter's Deli, a trip to the Columbia University campus, and several romantic strolls through Central Park.  As an added bonus, we had reunited with his long-lost friend from high school, who after 38 years overseas, had now returned stateside, along with his lovely wife. In short, the brief getaway was all a girl could ask for and then some, but on Saturday night, I probably should have made alternative plans; I might as well have been on Mars.  

Instead, I put on a new dress and politely soldiered through the evening as I sat quietly with the couple of other husbands and wives who had foolishly tagged along as well.  If it were up to me, these invites would make it official: "spouses need not attend" (really).  Suffice it to say that I was ready for the evening to end early, while Cliff, in uncharacteristic fashion, was just getting started.  

Everyone had a story to tell of their adventures since graduating, family photos to share, and memories to recount - and NONE of it related to Bay Area Real Estate in the least. (Can you imagine?)   By 10 pm, I'd had my fill and hitched a ride back to the less-than-glamorous Tides Motor Lodge (which has seen better days, but that's a story for another column) leaving my husband to reminisce to his heart's content. Now we were both happy. (Sort of.)

This kind of division works well with respect to reunions, but certainly backfires when speaking to real estate, where parties must absolutely align their goals in order to meet the defined objectives. 

You would think this simple idea would be obvious to most couples, given the nature and the size of a home purchase or sale, but it isn't.  Too often, I have witnessed the struggle unfold, which in every single instance, made the journey far more stressful than it already was. (Sigh.)  Perhaps what makes defining one's goals so difficult is that we often don't know what to expect in a market that's ever changing, OR we make the assumption that as partners, we want the same things. (Funnily enough, we do this in marriage as well, marching down the aisle blissfully ignorant.)  It's a dance that too often takes place in order to avoid discussing the really important aspects of life - like money, kids, or religion, just to name a few. (Oy vey!)

At the risk of introducing conflict, in a world where even a starting home is likely to cost Buyers a half a million dollars (in Piedmont, you can easily double that figure), define upfront what you are willing and able to pay.  DO have a reasonable (albeit flexible) game plan going in to any offer situation and establish a fixed point at which you are willing to comfortably walk away. (This number may change from house to house, depending on location and condition.) And DON'T make assumptions about what the other party wants or needs; spell out the unknown in no uncertain terms.

For Sellers, DO understand at what point, you would be satisfied with the selling price; in other words, what would you be willing to accept?  In the heat of the moment and often, with several offers from which to choose, Sellers have a tendency to push Buyers beyond what feels comfortable, or worse yet, to a point where a Buyer feels "played."  In fact, in a Sellers' Market, Sellers often risk offending Buyers altogether by going back and asking for FAR MORE - even when the Buyer has already bid well ABOVE the asking price. (Warning Will Robinson, tread carefully!) You may, in fact, get a little more by countering, but in all likelihood, those same Buyers will find something during the course of inspections on which to push back.  In the worst-case scenarios, they may walk away and fail to return. (Ouch.)

Let's understand that even when a home is "strategically" priced (priced to obtain multiple bids) the market has a very keen sense of "value;" thus, the offers in front of you, are typically, what your home is actually worth in terms of "market value."  This is where you want to ask yourself if the highest offer at the table were the one and only offer, would you be satisfied?  If the answer is "yes," sign it and move on.  Don't risk losing your best and highest offer with the expectation of getting more, either in the moment, or down the road - that's a high-stakes gamble you could easily lose.  

Stories are great to tell, but they are a whole lot happier when the ending is fulfilling  (no one wants to be the 'cautionary tale').  Being open and willing to accept whatever comes to pass, makes the journey much easier, as does defining your expectations upfront, getting on the same page, and playing fair. (That's not just a good lesson for Real Estate, it's a good lesson for life.)  

I expected my husband to have a great time and he did.  In this case, that was more than enough.  By my count, I have ten years before his next class reunion.  Maybe I'll send Cliff on his own next time, or better yet, I'll stay in town and see another Broadway show.  

There's so much to love about the Big Apple and reunions - as long as they are your own!
0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Subscribe

    Author

    Julie Gardner, has been writing The Perspective for 18 years and has published more than 775 humorous but always informative, essays on life and real estate. 

    Picture

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009
    May 2009
    April 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    November 2008
    October 2008
    September 2008
    August 2008
    July 2008
    June 2008
    May 2008
    April 2008
    March 2008

    Categories

    All
    Business
    Design
    Drought
    Holiday
    Home Maintenance
    Homes For Sale
    Life
    Market
    Politics
    Renovation

    RSS Feed

    View my profile on LinkedIn
Piedmont · Oakland · Berkeley
 510.326.0840
[email protected]
DRE# 01431765
​COMPASS

  • HOME
  • COMPASS
    • WHY COMPASS?
    • COMPASS CONCIERGE
    • COMPASS BRIDGE LOANS
  • LISTINGS
  • ABOUT
    • ABOUT JULIE
    • A DYNAMIC PARTNERSHIP
    • CONTACT
    • PROCESS
    • TESTIMONIALS
    • PRESS
  • PROJECTS
    • BEFORE & AFTER
    • GARDENS
    • OUR TEAM
    • VIDEOS
  • BLOG
  • COMMUNITY
    • UTILITIES
    • SCHOOLS