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"Hey Julie, I just wanted to warn you that some of our appraisals are falling short," Alison said. "With each subsequent sale setting a new bar, we're having a hard time justifying the price in many cases."
No kidding . . . given the speed with which homes trade and the WHOPPING prices many properties are selling for, that doesn't exactly surprise me. However, it might surprise you.
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What's more invasive than a colonoscopy?
A root canal? (No.) Someone reading your diary? (Maybe.) A tax audit? (Okay, that one's worse; that took weeks of digging through files and receipts.) However, with respect to Real Estate, there are few things more invasive than the Seller Disclosures; those legally binding questionnaires that expect Sellers to be thoroughly conversant with their home and its neighborhood, to disclose present and past modifications (even if they weren't responsible for them), and to understand the home's engineering, potential topographical impacts, and structural components. . . . without an advanced degree! No wonder even the most earnest of Sellers typically come up short. "How's the move going?" I asked. "We saw the U-Haul out front."
"We're exhausted," the Seller answered. "I can't believe how much stuff we've collected through the years. I swear the boxes in my attic are procreating!" I believe him. Mine too, and I don't even have an attic. The truth is, the more space we have, the more willing we are to fill it. Consequently, closets, attics, basements, garages, and storage rooms become GIANT repositories for all things discarded under the assumption that "our kids may want it one day." (They won't.) I finally received my shot last last Friday and felt immediate relief. I hadn't realized the stress I'd been internalizing while dutifully waiting my turn for the vaccination. When my age group was finally green lighted, I set the alarm for 12:01 am, slung off the covers, sat down at the computer, and signed onto Kaiser, CVS, Rite-Aid, myturn.org, and a host of other recommended sites, but couldn't find an available appointment anywhere, even as I expanded my perimeter further and further afield. Two hours later, I gave up and went back to bed, but not to sleep.
"I'm sorry," the Seller said. "The house is a mess, and I'm feeling overwhelmed." (You wouldn't be the first.)
"No worries," I said. "What can we take off your plate?" "Everything," she said, with a long sigh. "I don't know where to begin." Happily, we do, and what's more we know "people" who can jump in as well. From packers to organizers to movers, we've got you covered. "Would it be helpful if we made some introductions?" I asked. "Could you?" (Yes, we can.) |
AuthorJulie Gardner, has been writing The Perspective for 18 years and has published more than 775 humorous but always informative, essays on life and real estate. 
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