Perfect House, Perfect Life?

"I'm torn about what nursery school to send my child to," my Buyer said. "You're a mother, should we be looking at language emersion, Montessori, or free play?" she asked with all due earnestness.

​"Oh," I said, bursting her bubble, "it's unlikely to matter . . . "

As young parents, my husband and I checked out all of these choices and then selected a preschool that had a drama room, craft room, Lego room, and the whole kit and kaboodle. The school seemed FULL of possibilities . . . BUT had a long waiting list to match. Like most anxious first-time parents, we were both thrilled and relieved when the acceptance letter arrived.

In retrospect, it was the wrong choice for our sweet, shy son; too large, too many choices, and WAY too overwhelming. In fact, he would have been far happier attending in-home daycare with 3-4 other children - not 60. My mistake was that I hadn't looked at the school from my 3-year-old's perspective, but from my own.

Moreover, as the "perfect mother," I had an agenda for my kids: both my boys were going to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, travel the world, join me in the garden, attend an Ivy League college, and love musical theater. (What was I thinking?)

In actuality, they both hated piano, struggled with languages, and played baseball throughout high school. One acquired the travel bug and the other preferred to stay closer to home. Like their Dad, neither know a weed from a flower and musical theater? They prefer comedy clubs.

In short, their journey was their journey, no matter my "perfect" ambitions for them, and to be clear, each followed their own path. At 32 & 27 respectfully, they are fully developed, interesting, funny, kind human beings, raised in the same household, by the same parents, with the same values, but entirely different individuals. Turns out, that was more important. Turns out, "perfection" is a ruse.

The long and short of it is that we can dream about the perfect house, the perfect rate, the perfect circumstances, the perfect partner, the perfect choice, (the perfect child), but it's unlikely to make any real difference. Homes (like families) are what you make of them, and in our neck of the woods, they are as unique as our kids. So if you find the home you love - take the leap!

Moreover, life happens when it happens. Graduation, marriage, birth, job transfers, divorce, retirement, and death are often the precursors of change. (Be brave; embrace change.) What the interest rates are doing at the time may certainly play into one's decision, but they won't ultimately alter the outcome much.

In the end, all any of us can do is move forward with true intentions, integrity, and grace, capped off with a sense of humor. If there's one lesson I hope I taught my kids while making far too many mistakes, it is to be resilient. Won't that serve them better on the road of life? (Yes, it will.)

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