"Give me five sets of jump rope, 20 seconds on, 20 seconds off." Dave instructed.
"Head over here for jump squats, 20 seconds on, 20 seconds off," he commanded.
"Now, hit the floor and do five sets of modified burpees, 20 seconds on, 20 seconds off!" A sadistic exercise if there ever was one. (I think Dave likes his job too much.)
Can I just say that modified or not, I REALLY hate those things and 20 seconds on, 20 seconds off sounds really easy until you hit round three and then those last two sets turn your legs into rubber. Frankly, burpees are for younger bucks with sculpted abs, not middle-aged women who just want their waistlines back.
Stoically, I complied with his directions even though I have to admit that my best jump roping days were in grammer school. (that's right, I ruled at recess!) But here's the good part, after each exercise, Dave walked over to the chalkboard and made a check mark by each completed callisthenic!
After several months of working out together, Dave, a former track star and Cal graduate, has figured out that I'm a gal who's motivated by a list. I love the organization of it, the way it clarifies the tasks at hand and especially, the check marks as I get each event accomplished and head toward the last.
"Do you sometimes put things on your list, you've already completed just to check them off?" my husband, Cliff teased.
"Yes," I admitted, "I do!"
"So do I?" he laughed. (Clearly, I'm not the only nutcake in the family.) There's something incredibly satisfying about the tangibility of those check marks on so many levels. The days I like BEST are the ones when I get everything checked off with time to spare. (Say what?)
What's a typical list look like for a Relator on a daily basis?
Today's list begins with:
It's jammed packed to be sure, but gratefully, I don't work alone. I have fantastic support from my own assistant, in addition to the dedicated in-house staff here at The GRUBB Co., which is why last night, we gathered together to show them our love and appreciation with a man-pedi, cocktail party. (They earned it - especially the cocktails!)
However, my list pales in comparison to the checklist I received yesterday from my clients' mortgage lender, which seems nearly insurmountable by comparison. Unless you're like my OCD dad (a Quicken aficionado) you're going to have to start digging through your files to quickly gather the necessary documentation a bank requires in order to fund a loan!
For those of you who are self-employed (and I share your pain) the requirements to simply qualify for a loan are nothing short of Herculean and far more stringent than for those who collect a W-2 on a regular basis. Long gone are the days of "stated income" and so they should be, but truly, getting a loan is no laughing matter.
You want what?
In order to avoid their previous mistakes and in what may be an over swing of the pendulum, lenders have created new ways to extract a pound of flesh. They're not exactly burpees per se, but they're the financial equivalent. In addition to the reasonable inquires, you'll need to answer questions like, "Where did this $35 deposit come from?" (Really?) and "Did you know you paid your gas card late? (No, I didn't.)
Try not to get flustered. It's the PROCESS and entirely unavoidable unless you're an ALL-CASH Buyer. But even if you are, you're going to probably put a loan into place after you close escrow to take advantage of cheap money and the work will be much the same. If a loan is what you seek, you'll need to bare down, take a deep breath and just dig in.
Hey, there's a reason I work on this side of the transaction and NOT on the lending or escrow end where the paperwork is just too cumbersome for even my controlling personality, but I'll happily refer you to an excellent mortgage lender who will walk you through this process from beginning to end, so that's one item down. Go ahead, check it off your list. Doesn't that feel great?
How can I help you?
Julie Gardner, has been writing The Perspective for 18 years and has published more than 725 humorous but always informative, essays on life and real estate.